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Building a child’s self-esteem should be a parent’s number one concern aside from food, clothes and a roof over their head. Self-esteem is something that is very hard for an adult to acquire if the seeds weren’t planted in them as a child. Adults with high self-esteem are leaders and well adjusted. Even if they are a housewife, one with high self-esteem will readily encourage their children and be the best mom possible. They make the best parents, co-workers, bosses and neighbors. But if you feel you don’t have high self-esteem – don’t fret – you can still build it up in your child.
The word esteem means high regard, respect, admiration, good opinion and value. Esteem is very closely related to confidence; which means self-assurance, poise and self-belief. Building confidence in someone in turn raises his or her self-esteem. A person with a high self-esteem would feel themselves as valuable, self-assured, poised, respected of themselves, and self-admired. Don’t mistake self-esteem with self-centered or selfish. Self-esteem is a healthy amount of pride in oneself, while still being considerate of others. A person with high self-esteem can walk into any situation and make the most of it and will never second-guess themselves. Self-esteem, when built from childhood, produces a well-rounded and well-adjusted adult.
The responsibility rests on the shoulders of the adults in charge of the child. A child’s self esteem can be easily built up by their parents or guardians. Most of the job falls on the parents or guardians – but a small percentage rests on the teachers, mentors, and others who care for them. It’s a job that shouldn’t be taken lightly – but that is easy to accomplish, too. It’s just as easy to tear down a child’s self-esteem, as it is to build it up.
Children thrive on praise. They seek to capture our undivided attention. Children, in essence, believe they are the center of the universe – or at the very least the center of our universe, and that is as it should be. The mistake made here is in wanting to teach our children that they are not the center of the universe and for fear of spoiling them, some lay off the praise. You have to balance this in order to achieve the best results for a well-rounded child. Don’t be afraid to praise your child. It’s in hearing the praise that our children’s confidence and simultaneously their self-esteem rise up.
The next of kin to praise is encouragement. Encouragement will take a shy child to levels of confidence that will cheer them on to do greater things. Encouragement coming from the very ones the child believes to be the biggest and the best in the world (their parents or guardians) brings on tremendous and positive results. Even if you feel your child isn’t receptive, you’d be surprised to watch, when you’re not around, your child take those steps in whatever feat – hearing in the back of their mind your encouraging words to move onward. Lavish on the encouragement and rub it in with praise.
There are times when praise or encouragement may seem like a silly thing. In instances when a child does a seemingly small thing – or accomplishes a minor feat you may feel that praise and encouragement aren’t necessary. Think again. A child needs a continuous dose of both at all times. This does not mean that we cannot correct our child when they’ve done wrong. Just the opposite – even in correction you can add a big dose of encouragement to do better next time – “because you are smart.” Or “because you are learning and I know you’ll do better next time.” Never, ever cut a child down. This behavior is negative reinforcement and this is what tears down self-esteem.
So many children grow up with little to no confidence in themselves and it’s because the parent or guardian never took the time to add the two ingredients into them - praise and encouragement. Sure, you can love your child and not offer those two things, but you will be so much more the parent if you make it a daily habit of pouring praise and encouragement into your child. Even if your child doesn’t do anything worthy of praising, find something, anything to praise and encourage. And then step back and behold. Your child will bloom and blossom before your very eyes into a person who can accomplish anything.
When you become a parent you owe it to that child to provide the best of everything possible. The absolute best thing you can do for that child is to teach them to have confidence in themselves and help to build their self-esteem. Look at the well accomplished and well adjusted people you know, and I guarantee you they were brought up with much encouragement and praise. Or they took a long time to learning it as an adult. Make this an easy transition for your child; begin building their self-esteem today.
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