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If you can see storm clouds brewing on the horizon of your relationship, it might be time to take action - BEFORE that storm breaks. Maybe you have an unresolved issue which keeps popping up again and again Perhaps one of your prefers to brood about the hard questions, instead of talking about them.
But talk you must - it's the only way to make your relationship strong enough to weather the storms which are just a part of the changing seasons of every partnership. Make a date to talk. It's imperative to choose a specific time to sit down with your partner and confront the problem which is plaguing your relationship. Although bringing the issue out into the light can be scary, this stage must be gone through before you can reach any kind of satisfactory resolution.
If you think about it, the consequences of NOT talking about it are even scarier. Rising levels of resentment left to fester away can be the source of intense short-term stress, and are highly likely to lead to a major argument further down the track.
So find some neutral ground on which to meet and discuss the problematic issue. It's a good idea if you can both agree at the outset that you will be working towards a common goal. Remind yourself and your partner periodically during the discussion that you’re both looking for the same thing: a harmonious solution to a problem that has
been clouding over the skies of your relationship.
If you think you might get overly emotional or angry and lose track of the points you want to make during the discussion, note them down briefly, and take along your list to the meeting. If the discussion is getting off track
or onto other unrelated topics, use the list to keep you focussed and to remember that the objective here is to find a solution to your problem. You can discuss the other issues at a later date – it’s a good idea to try and solve only one problem at a time.
What if the source of tension between you is boredom? If one or both of you feel like you're in a relationship rut, it's all too easy to start taking it out on each other. Little quarrels about nothing, and bickering over the tiniest, most insignificant details could be a warning sign that the relationship needs help - and fast.
Luckily, this kind of relationship tension is the most fun to address. The rememdy is to find ways of reconnecting with your partner, and rediscovering the person you fell in love with in the first place. Has it been months - even years - since you've gone away toegther for the weekend? When was wthe last time you went to see your favourite comedian perform live? Anyactivity that make syou laugh or shout out loud (in joy, not anger!) will act as shock-therapy and jolt you out of your tedious routine.
What if the source of tension is lack of trust? If one of you has done something which has shaken or even destroyed the foundation of trust at the base of the relationship, remedial action must be taken as soon as
possible. If left unaddressed, this is one problem guaranteed to get worse. No meaningful relationship can be conducted without that secure foundation of trust being in place.
Once again, communication is the key. Don’t try to pretend that everything's OK when it's not. Bring the issue out into the open, and resolve to try and fix the problem once and for all, as a partnership - starting right now. Tears and shouting are never fun, but they may be necessary to the healing process.
The seriousness of this relationship problem requires more than just healing words, however. Regardless of who comitted the relationship "crime", you must both agree that getting the partnership back on the right track is the top priority. You’ll need to back up your promises to try to trust each other again with your actions.
Sincere romantic gestures in any shape or form are a good start. Flowers or little gifts chosen with care will all help. A more pragmatic approach can also work miracles: make a statement that you are in this relationship for the long haul: put down a large payment on your partner's credit card, or pay one of their bills. Think of it as a down payment on your future.
As you can see, unresolved tension must be cleared if a relationship is not only going to survive, but go from strength to strength. It can be a challenge to face up to those storm clouds which have been building up on the horizon, but think about the benefits of a successful outcome – when there is nothing but blue skies ahead in the future of your relationship.
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